Why is Divorce So Difficult?

<p>Now, this may sound like an obvious bit of knowledge but I see many men ask why is divorce so hard? There are many reasons as to why it hurts so much, why you are having to suffer, and more thoughts like that. Yet we keep with the dirty pain and keep resisting the facts that are at hand. We want to control the circumstances in our life. Yet doing so only increases the suffering we experience.</p> <h2>What is dirty pain?</h2> <p>This is the pain we resist. It is pain that we believe is happening to us and is keeping us in a perpetual state of suffering</p> <h2>What is clean pain?</h2> <p>This is the pain we feel as we allow the feeling we have to process out and let the emotion run its course.</p> <h2>Why does divorce hurt so much?</h2> <h3>You have your own thoughts about the divorce</h3> <p>The fact that you have been served or you have only been told that your spouse wants a divorce the thoughts you have about the circumstance surrounding the divorce are what causes your pain. It's not the fact that your wife said, "I want a divorce" It's not any of her actions around the topic. It is only your thoughts about the divorce and the indulgent emotions you have that keep you in this state of pain.</p> <p>The divorce is neutral. It's not good nor is it bad. If it wasn't neutral you and your spouse would both be feeling the same pain. Yet you see her out enjoying life, while you are sitting at home drinking scotch on the rocks and wondering where you went wrong. Wondering why he gets to have a good time and not you?</p> <h3>It is the severing of an emotional bond</h3> <p>You and your spouse had an emotional bond. Now that bond is cut into two. That is painful. Everybody is hurting. This is often why you get so many people lashing out at each other. That is because of the pain and the fear that they are feeling. The severing and end of a relationship are hard and so yeah it hurts because you are grieving the death of a marriage.</p> <h3>You are caught in a thought loop</h3> <p>Ever find yourself thinking over and ov