Active Listening

During our recent mid-term mentoring workshops for pre-teens and teenagers, one of our major areas of focus was “Active Listening”. I asked the participants at the workshop to define what active listening was and for them to differentiate it from listening and hearing, as it relates to conversations with their parents. Their responses were very insightful which has inspired today's episode to help teens and parents to work at improving their “Active Listening” skills. Hearing In the simplest of definition, hearing is the process, function, or power of perceiving sounds. To perceive, means to be aware of the sound, not necessary the message the sound is trying to convey. We hear with our ears, the sound coming from what someone is saying, music playing, teacher’s instructions and what our parents are saying. Listening Listening on the other hand is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process. When listening, a person not only hears what others are saying but tries to understand what it means. Active listening Active Listening is a communication skill that involves going beyond simply hearing the words that another person speaks but also seeking to understand the meaning and intent behind what is said, accurately. It requires being an active participant in the communication process. We hear with our ear; we listen with our 5 senses, plus our heart. How Can We Be Active in Our Listening? 1.Pay attention: Most times teens find it very difficult to look at their parents during conversations. Some say they do this out of respect as some culture frowns at teens making eye contact with parents or elders during a conversation. But for a teenager to actively listen to their parents during a conversation, one must pay attention to their parent which in most times includes making eye contact. Research shows that looking at the speaker during a conversation, activates the prefrontal cortex of our brain, the area responsible for decision-making, attention, and other complex co