296. Beyond Vulnerability

<p>The term, “vulnerability” has spread into realms where it’s not an accurate description of what’s going on. The case for being vulnerable often doesn’t make sense. In the creative realm – and possibly in others – we should pursue something beyond vulnerability.</p> <p>When I wrote about vulnerability to my <a href= "https://kadavy.net/mondays/"><em>Love Mondays</em> newsletter</a>, saying some of what I’m about to say, I got a lot of pushback. In the current – and what I believe to be incorrect – parlance, some might say I had made myself vulnerable. I don’t agree. I’ll build up to why in the course of examining the vulnerability movement.</p> <p>I’ll try to keep this organized, so that if you disagree with my line of thinking, it’s easier to identify where. It’s hard to talk about vulnerability in an organized way, because the more the term is abused, the more vague its definition gets.</p> <h3>Vulnerability means “open to harm”</h3> <p>Let’s start by defining vulnerability. In the most basic terms, vulnerability means, “open to harm.” If you want to be more technical and specific, “open” in this case doesn’t mean “inviting” harm, but rather “susceptible” to harm.</p> <p>Now I’ll paraphrase some examples of how vulnerability is espoused in the current movement:</p> <ul> <li>“Be vulnerable at work. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask.”</li> <li>“Be vulnerable in relationships. Share your feelings, even if it means you might be rejected.”</li> <li>“Be vulnerable in your writing. Share your struggles.” (Anyone familiar with my work might be surprised to hear me tee up this last one.)</li> </ul> <p>I don’t deny that a person might <em>feel</em> vulnerable in these situations. I’m not convinced they <em>are</em> vulnerable. I’m definitely skeptical that striving to <em>be</em> or even <em>feel</em> vulnerable is helpful.</p> <h3>Emotional harm is the most-subjective harm</h3> <p>If being vulnerable is being open to harm, to understand vulnerability we have to define what harm is. There are many types of harm,