Why We Romanticize Toxic Relationships + The Trauma Of Codependency

<p class="p1">The connection between codependency and relationships is something I’ve contemplated for many years. Primarily due to my own experience in relationships being a codependent in the past, but also being a significant other to many codependent partners. If you’ve ever had the unique opportunity to be either of these individuals, than you know how heartbreaking it can be to love someone to the extent that you lose yourself in the relationship, or love someone so wounded that they have an inability love you in a healthy way.  At this time in our world, it doesn’t seem too far of a stretch to conclude that we live in a wildly codependent society, not just in relationships to people, but in our inward striving towards pleasure, fame and the perpetual need for a constant distraction to pull us away from our own deep spiritual inquiry. </p> <p class="p2"> </p> <p class="p1">While the pursuit of happiness does appear to be a normalized part of our culture, we seldom explore the deeper implications of where these needs arise from. Of course, there are healthy pursuits driven by the most powerful elements of self love, though what happens when our striving for happiness comes from the shadows of our own personal trauma?  It’s a difficult question to explore, and an even difficult quality to identify in ourselves. Though, one thing we can all relate to on our journey, is the need for love. </p> <p class="p2"> </p> <p class="p1">Whether a child or an adult, we all have a natural affinity towards connection with our external environment.  While a child seeks the love of their parent, an adult seeks the love of a friend or partner, and so the need for a healthy symbiosis between them seems imperative to live a meaningful and happy life.  Though, what happens when our most basic human needs aren’t met when we’re young, and how does this influence the ways in which we seek love as we get older? Without positive and healthy role models to teach us about healthy love, it seems we become vulnerable to many things that p