Why do you love the way that you do?

Are you aware of the way that you give and receive love? Are you confident in your way of loving? And do you notice your emotions, thoughts and behaviours when loving someone else? In today's episode we consider where our notions of love come from. We all tell ourselves stories about love which inform our expectations, hopes and desires. These stories are told by our parents, friends, teachers, writers, singers or actors in romantic films. We have lofty ideas and ideals about romantic love. Often there is a big gap between our ideals and our reality. Coming to terms with the reality of how we are being loved can be painful. The way that we love is influenced by our experiences - we learn templates of how to go about loving someone else and being loved. Our attachment style informs our love template: if we have an insecure attachment style we often struggle to form trusting relationships. The way that we love changes in the course of a relationship as projections give way to seeing the real person in front of us. And the way that we learned to love is changeable. We can choose to think and behave differently if our way of loving does not serve us well.