What Everyone Gets Wrong About Willpower & Grit - The Science of Long-Term Success with Dr. David DeSteno

In this episode, we discuss why the way we think about grit and willpower is fundamentally wrong. Self-control is one of the most research-validated strategies for long-term success - but the way we think about cultivating is fundamentally wrong. Emotions don’t get in the way of self-control - they are actually the path forward to sustainable and renewable willpower. How do we develop the emotions that underpin grit, self-control, and achievement? We dig into that and much more with our guest Dr. David DeSteno.  Dr. David DeSteno is an author and professor of psychology at North-Eastern University where he directs the Social Emotions Group. He is a fellow of the Association for Psychological Science and the American Psychological Association. His work has been featured in the New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and more!What do Marshmallows have to do with success?What do Buddhist monks and hot sauce have to do with the most effective strategies for succeeding over the long term?Lower debt, lower addictive behavior, better SAT scores, and higher overall life success can be predicted by the ability to resist temptation and delay gratificationThere’s NO DOUBT that delayed gratification/resisting temptation is highly correlated with success The real question is - what’s the best way to create self-control. Does willpower actually work? Do our emotions get in the way of self-control?Self-control didn’t evolve so that we could save money for retirement or complete Whole 30. It evolved to help us develop strong relationshipsWhat are the mechanisms that create fairness and good character? Positive emotions. Rather than being a roadblock to self-control, emotions may actually be the best way to develop self-controlRevisiting the marshmallow test for adults - and determining what really works to help adults develop self-control The three emotions of developing self-controlGratitudeCompassionPridePeople who have more of these pro-social emotions (gratitude, compassion, and pride) persevere 40% long