The Windshield & The Rearview Mirror

As we start a new year a lot of people will be declaring new year’s resolutions. I used to do this and it did not work, now I know why. A resolution is when we resolve to quit something, something that’s not good for us. Addiction easily falls into this category. “Swearing off” is rarely effective because it doesn’t deal with the complex underlying issues involved. However, the main reason resolutions are rarely successful is that just quitting isn’t enough. In recovery we make a decision to change. We decide to take a new direction; in fact, the word decide comes from the same root word as disciple – it means to follow, to take a new direction. Decisions are powerful and they are what bring us to a new way of living in recovery. Decisions are what set us on a new journey, a new road so to speak. When we make a decision we let go of our old ideas and ways of doing things. We learn to model others who have been successful at staying abstinent. Just quitting would be the equivalent to just stopping the car whereas making a decision is like taking a different road. When I was new in recovery it was difficult for me to see past my present problems and pain. I was stuck in the same old story day after day and I didn’t know how to get out of it. One day I decided to do the day differently. A real decision becomes real action. It’s a decision verses a wish when the deciding thought is followed by an action toward the new direction. We can’t always think our way into right action, we often have to act our way into right thinking. That was a big “a ha” moment for me when I realized how true that little statement is. It changed my life. The next important piece of the puzzle for me in any decision or change is to focus on where I am going instead of focusing on the past. There is a reason the windshield is much larger than the rearview mirror. There is also a reason we have a rearview mirror. Can you imagine what it would be like to drive down the freeway looking primarily at the rear view mirror? You would have