The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships with Michael S. Sorenson

In this episode we discuss crazy research that can predict 94% of the time whether or not your relationship will be successful. We reveal why you should NEVER give someone unsolicited advice. We share the communication “Swiss army knife” that you can use to build rapport, influence anyone, and deepen the most important relationships in your life and much more with our guest Michael S. Sorenson. Michael S. Sorensen is an award-winning author, marketing executive, relationship coach, researcher, and personal development junkie. He is the author of the best-selling I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships and the 3-Minute Morning Journal.Listen, seek to understand, and then validatePeople question if we understand how they are feelingReflective listening vs validationCrazy research that can predict 94% of the time whether or not your relationship will be successful.The 3 primary ways of respondingHappily married couples validate each other more than 87% of the time. Divorced couples validated each other only 33% of the time.The biggest takeaway from this interview - don’t give unsolicited advice! When you give people advice they get defensive, and then both parties get frustrated pretty quickly. In today’s societies we have serious difficultly processing and understanding our emotions. Most of the time what people want is NOT advice, they want help processing the difficult emotions that they are experiencing. Reframe: Ask yourself “So, what are you gonna do about it?"When you jump in and give advice, you miss out on an opportunity to show them respect and an opportunity for them to grow. Validation can help when someone is experiencing both negative and positive emotions. Validation is a tremendously powerful negotiation tool. When people feel heard and understood they are more likely to listen to you and understand you. Validation helps you break down defensiveness.What is validation?Invalidating responsesTo be an effective communicator you have to communicate to people