The Magic Camp Manifesto

The Magic Camp Manifesto We the head counselors of Magic Camp declare, That a painting is not a painting unless it is made of paint. That the entirety of New York-based abstract expression art is one gigantic op, conceived and carried out by the Congress for Cultural Freedom and Central Intelligence Agency, we name Taos, New Mexico the artistic center of America. That the word moist is fine, you’re just stupid. That art is magic and that we need a lot more of it, push comes to shove it, we’ll go toe to toe with Jackson Pollock if it’s blood you covet. Get it? He bled on his paintings. Or was it piss? We name the following Certified Bald Pimps: Picasso, Michael Jordan, Matt Lucas, Ghandi, Tyrese Gibson, Saul of Tarsus, St. Francis of Assisi, Kelly Slater, and Thomas Merton; and the following Bald Hacks: Jeff Bezos, Vin Diesel, Paul of Tarsus, Damien Hirst, and Martin Luther We the counselors with dreadlocks believe, That churches only want art to say they have it. That pastors in Affliction tees are hot, get over it. That Augustine could turn a phrase now and again but he’s not to be trusted, especially considering what he did with those pears. Heretofore it has been regarded that Van Gogh cut his ear off from excessive horniness, whereas the truth is this: that Gauguin broke his heart in the platonic sense, no homo, by ditching him at the Yellow House. He therefore owes Vincent one ear and is a prick, but we forgive him because his paintings are good. We affirm the agenda of those who work in a toll booth all week and paint jungle landscapes on the weekend, of the Sunday painter, the open-minded 90 year old who sketches the bare trees in his backyard and is cool with drag. So long as their art is marketed successfully on instagram or can be segued into a lucrative MLM, it’s cool. But actually: we affirm a rigorous and deep art, an art of the earth, of the desert, the jungle, and the cave. We affirm the carnal and the banal, the abstract and academic, the indigenous, the queer, and the bald. The only