The Gift of Silence

<p>This past week I went to Maui with my good friend, Angela on a bit of an informal retreat. We had an absolute blast together - not just because we share so much in common and can laugh until we almost pee ourselves, but also because we both realized what we could change and what we couldn’t.</p><p>We chose happy. A lot. Over and over.</p><p>On one of our last days, we hiked up to a small peak at Haleakala for a super early sunrise and perched ourselves on a rocky outcrop between two boulders with only a handful of other people nearby.</p><p>I asked Angela if we could sit and watch the sunrise in silence. I love sunrise meditations and this would be an epic session. She agreed and we cozied up together in a bundle of layers in silence.</p><p>Now, sitting in silence on a silent retreat is one thing, and it’s a very unique experience. But when you sit in silence and others aren’t doing the same, you can really notice other things, specifically, what other people talk about. And let me tell y’all something:</p><p>Most of what I heard didn’t need to be said.</p><p>It didn’t build a sense of connection to help anyone contribute to intimacy. It wasn’t funny, entertaining, or informating. It was a lot of :</p><p>“This rock is hard.”</p><p>“I wish I had worn my blue shirt instead.”</p><p>“My spit feels gross.”</p><p>And it was all so disjointed. No one actually responded to the comments, they just said something else unrelated. People just telling each other their thoughts.</p><p>But not in a way that was sincerely relating or deeping or growing closer.</p><p>I know a lot of people think this small talk helps people connect, but today, I’d love to invite you to question that.</p><p>The next time you’re out at a store or standing in line to purchase something, listen to people’s day-to-day conversations. What do you hear? Are they really deepening connections, or just filling a space?</p><p>This is important because we need this space often to simply be in, to become aware of what’s actually going on.</p><p>Angela and I