Stop Trying to "Escape" Conversations!

<p>Many language learners I come across feel that speaking is one of the hardest parts of learning another language. They feel self-conscious and get frustrated at their inability to communicate with native speakers fluently, leading them to make mistakes such as:</p> <p><br></p> <p><em>1. Switching to their first language in the middle of a conversation. For example, I was once speaking with a friend in Gujarati and was feeling self-conscious. As a result, I started speaking with my friend in English. Her English level was higher than my Gujarati level, making it much easier to communicate in English.</em></p> <p><br></p> <p><em>2. “Running away” from a conversation. Once while in Brazil I was trying to buy a drink from a fast food restaurant. I tried to tell the cashier that I didn’t want ice in the drink, but she didn’t understand me. She gave me the drink and, unsurprisingly, it had ice in it. I felt discouraged and self-conscious about my low level of Portuguese, so instead of trying to explain myself once more, I swiftly walked out of the fast food restaurant in an attempt to avoid embarrassing myself further. In reality I probably didn’t have much to be embarrassed about despite feeling that way in the moment.</em></p> <p><br></p> <p><em>3. Avoiding conversations altogether. When I was in Beijing as a beginner Mandarin learner, I always struggled to get my point across and understand what others said. This was incredibly overwhelming and draining. Because of this, I would often sit in my room for hours at at time instead of going outside to take in the sights.</em></p> <p><br></p> <p><strong>How to Have Smoother Conversations </strong></p> <p>The number one rule is to stay in the conversation as long as possible. Here are a few simple ways to do this. I elaborate further upon each one and give additional tips in this podcast episode. </p> <p><em>• Ask lots of questions. It’s easier to ask questions than share long anecdotes yourself.</em></p> <p><em>• Use online dictionaries and translators in the middle o