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Asma Sherif Moneer

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I had a recent client who had a really tough time with letting go of the “how” before allowing herself to be happy, relaxed, and free. Everyday she felt anxious and even downright panicked because she didn’t have “The Plan” for how to create the life she wanted. I feel like all of us can relate to this, right? We often want focus on how to create the amazing things we want. We decide what we want to create, then we spend a lot of time wondering about how it will work. The logistics of it all. I can get really excited and even start dreaming about the steps I’ll take after I’ve created that thing. Like all of the programs and retreats I want to lead a few years from now. Kind of like wondering what you’re going to wear to the grammys… before writing the song! We can also come from fear and start to focus on all the obstacles and dangers we need to avoid so that The Plan works out. We desperately feel that it needs to work, because we have put our happiness into the hands of The Plan working out. This can be dangerous, becasue when things don’t go as planned, we panic again, because we believed the whole reason we were feeling okay before was because the plan was working. We thought that all was OK because it was a “good plan.” When things don’t go as planned, we feel vulnerable and at risk again. The main thought error here is the belief that we need to figure out the external elements (the items in The Plan) and change those in order to create what we want to create and feel how we want to feel. But can we really even control what goes on in the world around us? In those external elements? Nope. Otherwise… we’d probably be doing that. So it’s a common mistake to believe that shifting the external is THE solution to ending our suffering. But because our m

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