S03 E06: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

<p>JOSH’S BOOK SYNOPSIS</p> <p>5 golden tickets grant access to 5 lucky children the trip of a lifetime... but not is all that meets the eye. A psychotic chocolate factory owner, armed with a hoard of subservient little orange men, conjure up a ‘le jeu de le mort’ to decide who is worthy of not only his approval... but also his entire business empire. The bloodthirsty tycoon, known as Willy, hatches a plan to coax 5 kids to his factory so he can pick them off one by one in a novel full of vengeance and punishment to decide whom he can groom to become his successor. Set in wintery Victorian Britain, Wonka sends out the tickets in batches of his world-renowned choccy to the unwitting public, but being the master manipulator he is, he knows exactly the destination of where those tainted choccies will land.</p> <p> </p> <p>The first is found by Augustus Gloop. A fat Bavarian lad who just loves consuming all things sweet, especially chocolate. He meets his fate by making the amateur move of wanting to taste a chocolate river and subsequently gets stuck up a pipe. The pressure builds in the early part of the novel, and also behind his fat arse, and shoots him into a different room of some deadly description I can't remember now.</p> <p> </p> <p>Then you’ve got Violet Beauregard, who chews more gum than Alex Ferguson on a pinger. Wonka uses this to his advantage by producing an irresistible gum that would inflate and discolour Violet to replicate a huge blueberry. The only way to cure her? Juicing her. 2 down, 3 to go.</p> <p> </p> <p>Thirdly, you’ve got the little Tory shit Verruca Salt who frankly, I’m glad she got incinerated as she was a repugnant little madame who had the world given to her on a silver platter. She was judged to be a ‘bad nut’ by the nightmarish squirrels under Wonka’s command. They throw her down the garbage chute to the incineration room.</p> <p> </p> <p>Fourth, Mike Teevee. Pretty bland character, likes things like call of duty and the kind of chap who would offer you a high five but re