Rob's Soapbox - Labradors Are Enablers

<p>In my first 44 years of life, I never understood people who loved Labrador Retrievers…for starters, they’re the basic bitch dog, everyone has one, especially black labs.</p><p><br></p><p>Plus, they’re dumb. Studies say that they are smart, but they’re not. They walk into walls, forget your commands, and constantly do the opposite of what they’re told. Hunters tell me that they’re great at doing their job of retrieving, most notably ducks, but that’s a pretty narrow field of expertise that don’t impress me much.</p><p><br></p><p>And then came Scout.</p><p><br></p><p>Well, technically first came, my wife Christina, who happened to have a black lab named Scout. At the time we met, the irony was palpable; my German Shepherd, Shep, had passed away and my newest, Maestro, wasn’t born yet so I had only Nellie, my all-white GSD. So here we were…me, white as snow, with my white dog, and my now wife, Christina, milk chocolate “black” with her lab. White guy, white dog, black chick, black dog. Get it?</p><p><br></p><p>Anywho…I stole Scout from her. More accurately, he stole me. From the moment I met him, all of my rigid dog rules went out the window. I didn’t care that he got up onto the sofa or the bed and I certainly understood why he got random treats throughout the day like bacon, potato chips, and steak for no reason. There was a reason…he was Scout.</p><p><br></p><p>Meanwhile, poor Maestro was in boot camp and on lockdown, being taught that there is only one way to be a dog, and that is the hardcore German Shepherd way. Fortunately for him, Christina agreed to marry me and she labbed-up my Shepherd. He’s the most lovable, adorable 105-pound killing machine I’ve ever met, and that’s all on her (the lovable part…I made him a killing machine…well, me and Hitler).</p><p><br></p><p>For the first year of our relationship, Christina and I lived 1700 miles apart; her in Dallas, me in Sacramento. We would visit each other whenever we could, and to be completely candid, I’m not sure if I was more excited to see her