Relationship Alchemy - How to Break Unhealthy Patterns

<p>This week we’re diving into what we can do if we find ourselves in an unhealthy dynamic in a relationship that feels stuck. This an apply to not just intimate relationships, but also friendships, relationships with siblings and other family members, and colleagues as well.<br /><br /> </p><p>Remember that we often come from our default patterns of how we show up in relationships based on our attachment experiences in the past, which led to insecurities that have persisted over time (e.g. that we aren’t worthy or loveable or enough, that the world isn’t safe; that we can't rely on others).<br /><br /> </p><p>This means that we walk into a relationship with these wounds and these insecurities that form a default way of being in relationship. This affects the partners we choose, the way we approach conflict resolution, the things that activate us, and more.</p><p>This also means that things can really shift when we take on radical responsibility for our role in the dynamic we are in. When we stop blaming our partner for things that <i>feel </i>really true, and stop putting power outside of ourselves, then we can start to see what we’re bringing to the table and how <i>we’re</i> showing up...and the impact that has on the relationship.</p><p>This is not meant to gaslight ourselves or to tolerate abuse. This is to own our shit so that we can step into our power again.<br /><br /> </p><p>Then we can slowly make changes and allow for something different to grow – to allow the relationship alchemy to take please. This can happen in the relationship even if the other person doesn’t participate in the same healing you do.<br /><br /> </p><p>Why might this work?<br /><br /> </p><p>Because how we see the world and respond to it impacts how we show up in the world and in our relationships, which impacts others in our life and also how <i>they </i>also respond and react. This is similar to the scientific experience of the <i>observation effect,</i> which basically means the very act of observing directly alters the phenomen