Professional skills you need to be paid for versus a friendly conversation.

<p>How do you decide when something is a professional skill you need to be paid for and when it's just a friendly conversation?</p> <p>This is a struggle for all knowledge service providers. When you sell a widget, it is easy to recognize when you are giving away something of value (your friends expecting you to give away your widgets is a different issue).</p> <p>When you make a living providing knowledge, the line is less clear. I make my living talking to people and helping them sort through the challenges of life. </p> <p>I don't work by the hour because I believe it is a conflict of interest. Chaos doesn't happen on a schedule. My clients are encouraged to text/email or even call whenever they need to.Sounds like a good friend right? </p> <p>The difference is, there is no expected reciprocation. I don't call them with my stuff. They don't have to listen to the latest drama with my family (I'm the oldest of eight kids. There is ALWAYS drama going on with someone, often multiple someones, in my family).</p> <p>That is how I have learned to recognize when I am tipping from friendship into coaching/therapy I'm not getting paid for. When someone doesn't ask about me or I don't feel listened to. </p> <p>But by then we are often at a point where they think I'm their best friend and the conversation often goes something like this:</p> <p>Me: You should really hire a coach or a therapist. Them: Why I have you. Me: That's not how friendship works. Them: That's okay I don't mind. Me: But I do. </p> <p>And then they are offended. I have never had someone say, "You're right. I should be paying you." When I draw a boundary around my professional skills, they feel like I'm ending a friendship. </p> <p>I wondered, how do other people deal with this issue? How do they avoid these messy situations without just refusing to talk to people who aren't paying them?</p> <p>Dr. Bob Choat, Bruce Wayne Meleski, PhD and James H. Lee were kind enough to share their experience with me. </p> <p>I don't think we came up with a solid, "This