Perfectionist Procrastination

Asma Sherif Moneer

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I’ve always loved learning. In high school, I would even leave my friends while we were partying to do homework as they shouted out “stoner nerd!” In college, I’d bring my books with me to the beach and spend most of the day reading with occasional dips in the ocean. I went on to go to graduate school (not just once!), including getting my doctorate. As a mom, I don’t dig playing with dolls with my kid, but I’ll spend a whole day exploring nature and taking field notes with her - easily. You could say I’m a bit of a nerd. My obsession with learning was also accompanied by a desperate need to be perfect. To get all A’s. To be the best. And while I enjoy learning (can you say FOUR graduate degrees?), it can be seriously exhausting to feel the need to be perfect about it at the same time. My nerdiness, along with a dollop of perfectionism, was actually the perfect recipe that kept me from learning and experiencing everything I had to do in my life to the fullest. I didn’t do anything unless I was virtually guaranteed not to fail, whether it was adventure sports, academics, careers, or which lover I pursued. And just some hard truth here - perfectionism is for people who are scared. And I was scared. Of failing. This contributes to classic perfectionist procrastination. When we think we have to hold back until something is perfect, we get an (often) unconscious bonus: If we “have” to wait for it to be perfect, to guarantee success, we never “have” to take action. And therefore, we don’t have to risk failing. But living like this is ultimately exhausting and unsustainable. And it keeps us from growth and learning which - for us nerdy rebels, at least - is a major part of what makes life fun and meaningful. So what are our options, rebels? Well, if we don’t want to let go of perfectionism, in my opinion,

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