One Simple Change for Big Results

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">NLP places a premium on the ‘L’ -- linguistic. Language. The language we use matters. And the language we use gives us all sorts of clues about what we believe. </span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Today we're talking about two different linguistic assumptions. See if you spot these in your own thinking.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The first is cause and effect, the linguistic structure behind beliefs. It's simply the idea that one thing causes another.  Cause and effect is all about the “how”.  Like</span> <em><span style="font-weight: 400;">I must work hard to have money</span></em> <span style= "font-weight: 400;">— meaning</span> <em><span style= "font-weight: 400;">HOW does one make money? Oh, by working hard.</span></em></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Or</span> <em><span style= "font-weight: 400;">He must do ____ in order for me to feel loved.</span></em> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Cause and effect thinking can often lead to the next linguistic assumption: complex equivalence.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Complex equivalence occurs when we equate two things as being equal.</span> <em><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Making money equals working hard</span></em><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Or</span> <em><span style="font-weight: 400;">My partner neglects to _____ which means he doesn't love me</span></em><span style= "font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These linguistic assumptions trip us up because instead of focusing on the thing that we want and feeling good, we’ve linked what we want to something that is uncomfortable or difficult or overwhelming. Maybe you want to see a certain amount in your bank account, and you assume you’ll have to take certain uncomfortable steps to get from here to there. </span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In cases like that, the key is to unlink the feel-good outcome you want from the oth