Mr Constabully by John Ansell

"The scum of the earth....but what fine soldiers we have made them." The Duke of Wellington   Tune: Mr Bad Example by Warren Zevon  <a href='https://youtu.be/ntLogMHAL64'>https://youtu.be/ntLogMHAL64</a>   I’d always been a bully: From the day I started school ‘Do harm unto others’  Was my golden rule.   To bash defenceless women’s  Been my favourite stress release Since I became a sergeant With the great New Zealand Police.   They sent me down to Parliament To exercise my fists Running interference For a gang of communists:   Labour, Greens and National And ACT — they’re all the same, And when the war is over You can hang our heads in shame.   We’d spent a week in Auckland Learning how to beat the shit Out of unarmed defenders — It didn’t hurt a bit!   By Friday night our shirts of blue Had turned distinctly brown As we Illuminazis Learned to kick you when you’re down.        I’m Mr Constabully:      Defender of the dirt.      I’m here to see that only      The innocent get hurt.        I’m Mr Constabully,      A national disgrace:      I got my New World Orders      And I left the human race.   The Wokester said there’s plenty Of trouble I could make, With eyes to gouge and skulls to crack And bones that I could break   And naked ladies’ hair to pull: I’d bash and push and shove The bodies of survivors Calmly chanting “Peace and love!”   Like all Jacindanistas We pretended we were kind, Then pepper-sprayed those lepers’ eyes And rendered them half blind,   Then briefed our infiltrators To start a fire in tents, While standing by with hoses To expose our false pretence.   A. Coster said, “Accost her! Accost her and her and him!” And the cost of our accosting  Was unconscionably grim:   Andy cost the reputation Of every honest plod, And he calls himself a Christian Like the Devil thinks he’s God.   And when we’d done our dirty work They clapped us back to base: We’d stood up to integrity And slapped it in the face.   And now I face the mirror, There’s no further place to hide, So now you know which side I’m on: I