Love, Lust and Laughter - 09.21.21

<p style="font-weight:400;">Narcissism and Relationships</p> <p style="font-weight:400;"> </p> <p style="font-weight:400;">If a narcissist is part of your life—as a spouse, partner, lover—you may need a game plan to survive. <a href='http://drlindadevillers.com/'>Dr. Linda De Villers</a>, author of author of <a href='https://www.amazon.com/Love-Skills-Upbeat-Sex-cessful-Relationships/dp/0970956568/'>Love Skills</a> and <a href='https://www.amazon.com/Simple-Sexy-Food-Aphrodisiac-Recipes/dp/097095655X'>Simple Sexy Food</a>, joined Dr. Diana again. This time the two friends and sex therapists spoke about overt and covert narcissism in men. The overt narcissist is more extraverted; perhaps he needs to be the center of attention or maybe he’s an entitled playboy. The covert narcissist is more introverted; he is more subtle, but still craves admiration and importance.</p> <p style="font-weight:400;"> </p> <p style="font-weight:400;">What about childhood influences? A solid sense of self is the bedrock for life. Freud theorized—and modern research has confirmed—that this sense of who you are develops between the ages of one and three. That’s when the small child comes to understand that he is important, but not the center of the universe. If a parent is too indulgent or self-absorbed to give what is needed, the sense of self may be stunted.</p> <p style="font-weight:400;"> </p> <p style="font-weight:400;">Who’s a narcissist? It’s true: most of us act selfishly at times. But we psychotherapists consider a person “narcissistic” when the following kinds of behavior are persistent and pervasive: shamelessness, entitlement, arrogance, exploitation, and poor boundaries.</p> <p style="font-weight:400;"> </p> <p style="font-weight:400;">How about living with a narcissist? Good relationships are based on reciprocity: you listen attentively and empathetically to the other person’s joys and sorrows, and vice versa. With a narcissist, it’s a one-way street. Researchers have found that narcissism is closely tied to