Love, Lust and Laughter - 07.05.22

<p style="font-weight:400;">Integrating Mind & Body and Past & Present for More Pleasurable Sex</p> <p style="font-weight:400;"> </p> <p style="font-weight:400;"><a href='https://www.drstellaresnick.com/'>Stella Resnick</a>, PhD, has been a friend and mentor for thirty years. At a May 2, 1992 meeting of the <a href='https://www.sexscience.org/'>Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality</a> (informally known as “Quad S”), Dr. Stella spoke about Actualizing Sexual Potential, asking “How good can sex get?” New to the field, I was immediately enthralled by my colleague who focused on pleasure!  </p> <p style="font-weight:400;"> </p> <p style="font-weight:400;">In this episode, Dr. Stella and I covered a range of topics, highlighting some of her significant contributions to the understanding of the role of pleasure in healthy sexuality.</p> <p style="font-weight:400;"> </p> <p style="font-weight:400;">Attachment, Attunement and Sexuality</p> <p style="font-weight:400;">Attachment is how we bond; it is programmed in us from day one! The mother and infant are wired to connect; and this is foundational for his/her development. The baby automatically mimics the facial expressions of mother. If the child is wanted and born of a happy marriage, the mother smiles and looks into its eyes deeply. If, on the other hand, the baby looks like the dad … a man she dislikes … her eyes may narrow as she frowns. This is instant messaging – a body-to-body transference, and it can be intergenerational. If mother was traumatized, she likely has anxious or avoidant attachment.</p> <p style="font-weight:400;"> </p> <p style="font-weight:400;">As Dr. Stella said in her first book, <a href='https://www.amazon.com/Pleasure-Zone-Resist-Feelings-Happy/dp/1573240710'>The Pleasure Zone: Why We Resist Good Feelings & How to Let Go and Be Happy</a>, “Intercourse is not the main event.” There is so much sensual pleasure to enjoy all over the body! Use all five senses; for example, really taste the kisses. Scent is the key when we smell our clean