Kink vs BDSM

Melanie.M

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Well, I generally don’t like talking about BDSM semantics and terminology but this one seems worth discussing. I’ve found that identifiers, labels and titles are often more cumbersome than they are good, especially in BDSM. In order to keep yourself free, I suggest just identifying or thinking of yourself as kinky. You can dip into BDSM fantasies as much as you please but by staying under the safety of the ‘kink’ umbrella you allow yourself some wiggle room if something new should take your fancy. Want to experiment with being dominant? Want to swing back into vanilla world? Want to dip your toe into worship? You can do it all without wondering if this will make your ‘slave’ title null and void. Even though I love binding people physically, mummifying people as tightly as I can with plastic and duct tape, oddly, I don’t enjoy doing the same to people psychologically. I like to leave lots of room to grow and explore and for me that means not having rigid ideas about the D/s dynamic. I like the collaboration, the element of the unknown, the exchange that happens when you just do what feels good without a fear of failure looming in the background. Everyone is different, of course, and this is just my perspective but this is what works best me. I’ll give my friend at Dommes Nation a shout out here as well since they are the one to have posed this subject idea. <a href="https://dommesnation.com/bastienne-cross-interview/">Here’s a little interview I did with them a while back.</a> Also, I’ll recommend checking out <a href="https://www.lehmiller.com/podcast/2021/7/23/episode-44-kink-bdsm-and-fetishes">this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast</a> by Dr. Justin Lehmiller. He interviews Dr. Richard Sprott, a psychologist who studies us! Kinky people or people with ‘alternative sexualities’. Within the last couple of years, I started theorizing that most people are kinky in some way and that

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