Jealousy and Sympathetic Joy

<p>Today we talk about those times when it’s hard to feel good about other people’s good luck and abundance, and maybe feeling a little - or a lot - jealous. Sometimes we don’t feel good about when a friend gets a new car, or the book deal we’ve been waiting years for, or the soulmate that we still haven’t met. But today you’ll learn that it’s totally normal, and that feeling “sympathetic joy,” or <i>mudita</i>, is one of the hardest qualities for most people to cultivate.</p><p><br /> </p><p>I noticed that I would feel a lot of shame when I didn’t naturally feel sympathetic joy for others. I explored what might be contributing to this, and I realized this likely was influenced by my upbringing in a very poor family. Like on Thanksgiving every year, St. Vincent de Paul would give out turkeys to people in our neighborhood. But you had to sort of know someone or get in line really early to get one. And if you didn’t, they’d run out, and you wouldn’t have a turkey for Thanksgiving. There <strong>literally </strong>wasn’t enough. Or government food, like those orange cheese blocks that had a texture like soft plastic. They ran <strong>out </strong>of that stuff.</p><p><br /> </p><p>While there was indeed some level of scarcity in my life growing up, especially as a child in that context with little control or power, I was forgetting that I was no lon<strong>g</strong>er in that circumstance, and I was no longer that little <strong>powerless </strong>kid. I had forgotten that the world wasn’t like it was when I was a kid anymore. </p><p><br /> </p><p>I knew this on an intellectual level, and could easily apply it as it related to things that I did not have any desire for...but when I wanted something and someone else got it, I would still feel a pang of me losing out. I'd feel sad, instead of happy for them. </p><p><br /> </p><p>Sure, I’d say, “Congratulations!” I was going through the motions of what I <strong>intellectually </strong>knew was true...but I didn’t believe it or feel it in my heart right away.</p><p><br