Is the pressure to “act like a man” a real thing and where does it come from?

<p>This was a tough conversation. I’m very thankful these three guys were brave enough to have it on the record with me.</p> <p> </p> <p>The one thing they all agreed on is that there is certainly societal pressure to “act like a man.”</p> <p> </p> <p>But Brandon Mahoney pointed out that there is also this idea of “toxic masculinity” to be avoided.</p> <p> </p> <p>(Which makes me wonder if the message is to act like a man but no too much.)</p> <p> </p> <p>Gary Fredericks – who spent many years working on Wall Street made the comment that the pressure isn’t just to win but to crush your competition in the process.</p> <p> </p> <p>Stewart Wiggins brought up the pseudo-machoism in the military and in sports – sickness, injury, concussion, breaks, sprains? Doesn’t matter you play through it.</p> <p> </p> <p>(I want to say there isn’t the pressure to do that anymore but I don’t think it’s true. When the NFL session ended and you heard the announcers praising guys to “want it” badly enough to play through injury and bad mouthing players who won’t.)</p> <p> </p> <p>And does the idea that men should act like men go hand in hand with the idea that a woman who is confident and good at something can emasculate a man? (Can someone please explain to me how I am responsible for making sure a man feels good about himself and can “act like a man”?)</p> <p> </p> <p>When Gary said that he has always been attracted to intelligent and independent women, both Brandon and Stewart were nodding. Does it take a man who is confident in himself not to be threatened by a confident woman?</p> <p> </p> <p>Are we still telling boys they aren’t allowed to cry?</p> <p> </p> <p>Is masculinity seen as a bad thing? Is holding a door open no longer a good thing?</p> <p> </p> <p>When someone says, “be a man” or “act like a man” what are they actually telling a man to do?</p> <p> </p> <p>If the conversation after we turned the recording off is any indication, there is A LOT to be discussed on this topic and we, as a society, are not doing a good job h