How To Work Well With Difficult People

<p>People skills are really one of the key basics of leadership.  Fortunately, leading is easy.  Getting others to follow us is the tricky bit.  I hope this isn’t new information, but not everyone is like you, so how do you get the team to follow you?  Especially how to get others, who are so totally different from you, who are “difficult”, to follow you or support you?</p> <p>Central to working well with difficult people is understanding ourselves.  Yes, they are difficult, but why do we think so?  Isolating out the annoyance factors helps us to pinpoint how to handle situations where we react or possibly overreact.</p> <p>Reflecting on the past occasions when we have found difficulty with others is a good reality check.  Here is a hint on how to do that – think of someone you consider difficult to work with, see that individual in your mind’s eye. Now ask yourself two simple questions – what is it about them precisely, that makes me see them as difficult? Second question – how have I typically reacted when dealing with this person, and what have been the consequences of those reactions?  Take a pass on the psychobabble, but consider that this exercise offers up some critical insights into ourselves.  Want change – start with you!</p> <p>Ask yourself, are there particular “hot buttons” that trigger a strong reaction, like being told “no” to something you seek.  Do you notice that you quickly become defensive, take things personally or do you find yourself exemplifying “the best defense is attack” principle? Double check if your body language is screaming at that person, without you being completely aware of it?  </p> <p>Do you just dismiss them and their “ilk” or do you try to at least see how it might appear from their perspective? Are you open to negotiation or compromise or are you a fully paid up, card carrying and patch wearing member of the “My Way Or The Highway” club?</p> <p>By the way, how are you with feedback – not good?  With feedback, “We don’t know what we don’t know” is always a pain.  Hearing unp