How to Survive Toxic Holidays

<div>Silvia Stenitzer returns to the studio for this episode. Silvia’s a licensed professional clinical counselor in Santa Fe. She has a private practice as a psychotherapist. And she also trains the trainers, offering continuing education workshops throughout the year for licensed counselors.</div> <div> </div> <div>She has specialized training in some important areas, including somatic therapy and interpersonal neurobiology.</div> <div> </div> <div>Melanie and Silvia share ideas about how to manage the holiday season when it feels overwhelming, or if you’ll be spending time with toxic people, including family.</div> <div> </div> <div>Some of the topics include how healing can happen in relationships, and that sometimes the people who drive you the most crazy can be sources to help you deepen into your evolutionary journey.</div> <div> </div> <div>Narcissists and attachment styles are part of the discussion, as well.</div> <div> </div> <div>Melanie shares the 5 S’s, from neuroscientist and psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Siegel. The 5 S’s can be helpful to use when your nervous system has been activated, and you need some help with emotional safety and emotional regulation. </div> <div> </div> <div>The 5 S’s are five fundamental needs that all humans have. They are:</div> <div> </div> <p><em>“1) </em><strong><em>Be SEEN</em></strong><em>—meaning our inner life is perceived, made sense of, and responded to in a timely and effective manner. The attunement of others helps us “feel felt” in the world.</em></p> <p><em>2) </em><strong><em>Be SOOTHED</em></strong><em>—meaning that our distress is noted and the interactions with others helps us to feel calmer, more at ease. This interactive soothing becomes internal soothing as we develop.</em></p> <p><em>3) </em><strong><em>Be SAFE</em></strong><em>—meaning that we are protected from harm and also that those we care about are not the source of terror. This is how we come to have a sense of trust in others.</em></p> <p><em>4) </em><strong><em>Be SECURE</em></strong><em>—meaning