How to Make a Scene Like a Buddha

<p>One time, years ago at a super fancy dinner, I made an entire room of rich people UNBELIEVABLY uncomfortable. The beginning of the dinner was great. Until…</p><p>I’m entertaining those around me with a story about an avalanche in the Himalayas when I hear someone saying, “What are black people complaining about anyway? Slavery ended over 200 years ago. It’s not our fault anymore. It’s time to get over it.”</p><p>What the whaaa????</p><p>I stop mid-sentence with the person I’m chatting with. I turn around and say, “I’m sorry - what was that?”</p><p>“Oh, I was just saying I didn’t know why black people are still blaming slavery for all their issues when it ended 200 years ago, you know?” He was smiling. He was expecting me to smile back and agree.</p><p>There’s an uncomfortable silence… I turn my chair to face him fully. I pick up my glass of wine and take a large swig.</p><p>“Actually, segregation only ended in 1964… legally. That’s less than 40 years ago.” (at the time)</p><p>I take another sip of my wine along with a deep breath, smile, and wait for a response. Nothing - except for his smile disappearing and an awkward silence from the entire table, punctuated by a few uncomfortable laughs.</p><p>I continue, “Also, institutionalized racism and de facto segregation is still happening. Like in hiring practices, school segregation, and residential segregation due to things like ‘white flight’ among other issues. You see, it’s all very real and it’s totally happening right now.</p><p>So why people are still ‘upset’ makes sense to me. But I can get how that might feel uncomfortable to think about.”</p><p>I try not to seem angry. But I’m confident, knowledgeable, and carry myself in such a way that it’s clear I can take on any kind of argument with grace. I’m actively trying to be welcoming, hoping he will engage and maybe even evolve his thinking.</p><p>I’ve learned many people don’t open up their minds when they feel attacked.</p><p>I’m not saying there isn’t a place for outright flame throwing (sometimes it can