How to Be With Any Emotion

<p>The Buddha taught that, to be free, we need to investigate every part of our human experience with an intimate and mindful attention. This includes <i>emotions</i>.</p><p>Emotions aren’t “bad” in and of themselves.</p><p>It’s what we <i>do </i>when we feel them – the thoughts that ensue, the actions we take as a result – not the emotion itself, that often causes our suffering.</p><p>Practicing a mindfulness of emotions helps us to learn about ourselves and our mind. It helps us not get hooked by a difficult feeling, or the buffers we turn to – like overdrinking, overworking, over-Netflixing...etc – to keep from feeling it.</p><h3>When we can be mindful of our emotions, we can be less <i>reactive </i></h3><p>And that is when we have true freedom – the freedom to choose how we want to respond, instead of slipping into our default mode.</p><p>For many people, the idea of being with an emotion can seem daunting.</p><p>Mindfulness enables us to take advantage of what Tara Bennett-Goleman calls “the magic quarter-second” – the space between an impulse and an action.</p><p>By being present with an emotion instead of indulging in the stream of thoughts that <strong>stems </strong>from the emotion, we can use this magic 1/4 second to create a <strong>different </strong>response than we normally would.</p><p>We can stop the spiral of thoughts that might exacerbate an emotion by simply being <strong>present </strong>with the emotion itself.</p><h3>So how do we practice mindfulness of emotions?</h3><p>The first step is pausing to recognize that we are <strong>experiencing </strong>an emotion.</p><p>The second step is choosing to be <strong>present </strong>with our moment-to-moment experience.</p><p>We need to recognize the emotions with an accepting, curious and kind attention, <strong>without </strong>getting hooked; without attachment or aversion.</p><p>The result of this presence becomes the capacity to release <strong>habitual </strong>reactivity, to respond to our life circumstances more skillfully, with a wise hear