How to be Human: Holding Space for Curve Balls

Lenda Letlaka

6 min

Kids

Description

A friend of mine disappeared. She went silent. Dark :30. I know the move, I know it well. Too much is happening. Change, chaos, something hurts real deep. Unable to hang, we retreat. These retreats inward were not so productive in my earlier years. Sparking depression, negative downward spirals of thinking, and lots of alcohol. I reached out. To her. For her. For me. “Where are you?” I asked and “We miss you.” I suppose in my moments of darkness, these are the words at times I wish someone would have said to me. My friend came to light through these words, “I’m here… “ she said, “Life just threw me a few curve balls.” Pausing, “And I suppose I retreated instead of reaching out. I’m not used to having a place of support.” What if we had a space where we could retreat within AND retreat without into and through our support networks? Sometimes our curve balls seem so unique that no one will understand what is happening for us. I’ve found over the years when I say the thing, really say it out loud in a group of trusted allies, there is ALWAYS a thread of connection and support. David Goggins, you gotta love the guy, he’s overcome so many mental and emotional hurdles with a knack for pushing through extremes, says in his book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Cant-Hurt-Me-Master-Your/dp/1544512287">Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds</a>, “I learned I was the only. The only black person. The only poor guy. The only this or that…” (I’m paraphrasing here) As I listened to the audio book driving down the Pacific Coast Highway on the west end of the United States towards the Redwoods in California it donned on me. I am “the only” in so many situations. The only gay person, the only athletic person, the only creative, the only linear thinker… on and on the list could go. And you

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frankie_lake

Episodes

How to be Human: Holding Space for Curve Balls

Lenda Letlaka

6:24