How this physician's first experience with death affected her

<p>"My sister called me. I answered. And, then, I lost it: 'He died. He died,' I repeated. 'Our patient died. I literally did CPR on this guy. We tried to save his life, and he died,' I repeated over and over. The tears streaming down my cheeks were cathartic. More than signifying a loss, the tears signified that I was still human, that I haven’t lost touch with reality. Residency hasn’t changed me. Death still affects me. I’m not numb. I’m human.</p> <p>My tears were confirmation that I haven’t changed in that way. I was not calloused. He died. And I still felt it. I had a heart."</p> <p><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/maserayskamara/" target= "_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Maseray S. Kamara</a> is a general surgery resident and can be reached on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/drkamara/?hl=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">@drkamara</a>.</p> <p>She shares her story and discusses her KevinMD article, "<a href="https://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2020/09/death-still-affects-me-im-not-numb-im-human.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Death still affects me. I’m not numb. I’m human</a>." (<a href= "https://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2020/09/death-still-affects-me-im-not-numb-im-human.html">https://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2020/09/death-still-affects-me-im-not-numb-im-human.html</a>)</p> <p><em>This episode is sponsored by <a href= "https://www.us.elsevierhealth.com/" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">Elsevier Health</a> (https://www.us.elsevierhealth.com/). Looking to update your personal or professional medical library? Shop Elsevier Health’s Holiday Sale and save up to 35% on your purchase of medical books! Plus, you can take an extra 5% off your order with code KEVINMD at checkout. Take advantage of the biggest sale of the year from Elsevier, the world-leading provider of medical books and reference materials. Shop <a href="https://www.us.elsevierhealth.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">us.elsevierhealth.com</a> now through December 31.</em></p>