HOPEning Day!

<p>We always look forward to Opening Day, but it just feels different this time.  We are moving in the right direction -- it’s HOPEning Day.  But don’t worry, we also have rants. And mezcal.</p><p><br></p><p>Patti and the Pottymouth channel patron saint Sean Doolittle -- sports are the reward for a functioning society. If a couple of old white guys in Georgia can take voter suppression to new heights, <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2021/03/28/mlb-all-star-game-atlanta-georgia-voting-law/">MLB can damn well yank this July’s All Star Game out of Atlanta</a>, FIFA can pull them from World Cup host contention, and the NCAA can kick upcoming Final Fours way the hell down the road. No thank you, Georgia. You don’t deserve sports. There’s precedent for this, ask your North Carolina and Arizona friends.</p><p><br></p><p>We poke some fun at, and holes in, the League’s new Hall Monitor system for <a href="https://www.si.com/mlb/2021/03/24/mlb-cracks-down-foreign-substances-baseballs-help-hitters">cracking down on pitchers</a>’ use of foreign substances to increase control and spin rate.  And we do love to say “tainted balls.” Pottymouth worries about Eduardo Rodriguez’s “dead arm” which pulled him back off the Red Sox opening day start. Eloy Jimenez’ awful ruptured pectoral tendon may be an <a href="https://wgntv.com/sports/white-sox/with-eloy-jimenez-out-andrew-vaughn-gets-his-shot-in-left-field-for-the-white-sox/">opportunity for Andrew Vaugh</a>. Likewise Luke Voit’s surgery gives <a href="https://nypost.com/2021/03/27/luke-voit-surgery-surprise-leads-to-jay-bruce-making-yankees">Jay Bruce a roster spot</a>.</p><p><br></p><p>Patti and the Pottymouth introduce their Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League starting lineups, and make bold predictions about awards, pennants, and the World Series that you are welcome to throw back in their faces in October. We cross-train with the NWHL -- <a href="https://www.espn.com/nhl/story/_/id/31150275/boston-pride-win-their-second-isobel-cup-champions-national-women