Grief Through the Holiday

Good morning, Five Minute Families! Thank you for joining us again this morning as we share ideas for godly family living in family-sized nuggets. Often, the noise of the holidays has already begun, and while this year many folks have unabashedly decorated for Christmas early, others of our loved ones are feeling overwhelmed because they experienced the death of someone they love very much this year. The lights and songs and decorations can bring a heightened sense of that loss. Holidays are often so hard after the loss of a loved one, especially the first holidays. Do you stick with the old traditions or throw them all out? Do you plan events knowing you might break down, or do you avoid making any plans at all? How can we get through this and stay out of the pit of pain and despair? Well, we cannot and should not pretend the holidays do not exist. Running from the pain of loss is never healthy in the long run. While we each have a unique path to take through the grief journey, we are all experiencing the holiday time together. Being sensitive to each other’s needs will be especially important at this time. Children will grieve differently than adults, so understanding their patterns will be important, too. Many families choose to make the first holidays after the death of a loved one completely different from any other holiday before. They may opt to go to an amusement park for the day, or travel to a different place. Sometimes, this is helpful because it allows the adults to not be confronted with the pain of traditions where their loved one is missing but gives the children outlets for their energy when the difficult moments arise. Some families find it is extremely important to them to continue the family traditions as close to how they were before the loved one died. This may mean that the next oldest carves the turkey instead of Dad. It may mean that the holiday meal is still at the grandparents’ house, but Aunt Jenny makes Grandma’s famous deviled eggs instead. Thinking through and planning how those t