Gossip and Mindful Speech

<p>Today we’re talking about gossip and mindful speech. Gossip may at first seem to be something others do - but not “us.” However, it’s more prevalent than you might think. Tibetan Buddhist teacher, Pabongka Rinpoche, says, “Idle gossip is the best way to waste our human lives.” Kind of a serious stateent, right? So I thought it might be worth spending some time on.</p><p>First, what <strong>is</strong> “gossip?”</p><p>One definition is “casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details, that are not confirmed as being true.” And that <i>mostly </i>works, but gossip is more than just talking about <i>people</i>. It can be about politics, or a scientific theory not backed by data that we pretend is truth, or unverified news (aka fake news.)</p><p>What differentiates <i>gossip </i>from boring but benign <i>chit chat</i>? We can ask ourselves:</p><p><strong>What is our </strong><i><strong>motivation </strong></i><strong>when we speak?</strong></p><p>When we’re trying to figure out what we should or shouldn’t say, we can always ask ourselves: “What is my INTENT?”</p><p>If it’s motivated by thoughts of jealousy, of us wanting to be or look better than them, of attachment, or even of us wanting them to hurt in some way, then the conversation can easily turn to gossip. Some of these thoughts might be subconscious, but if we pay close attention, we can begin to catch ourselves in (or before) we open our mouths.</p><p>There’s definitely some self-compassion required here, because we have to summon the courage to take a look inward at our motivation. Without that, we may not see when we have less-than-ideal motives. Just remember: <strong>what we DO is not who we ARE</strong>.</p><p>WHY DO WE GOSSIP?<br />There’s definitely something about gossip and a lack of mindful speech that keeps us from cultivating a peaceful, compassionate, wise, loving mind. It’s exhausting to dish out, and frankly, it’s just as exhausting to receive it or be around it.</p><p>So why do we do it?</p><p