Freedom to Change Your Mind

<p>When I was in my late 20s, I was dating this amazing guy who had a family I loved. One day we were visitng his parents and he wanted to do a thing with his dad, so I was thrilled to have a day with his mom. We decide to see a movie then go to lunch. I was intimidated by her, but she was akways kind and approachable.</p><p><br /> </p><p>I don’t even remember which movie it was, but we go in and right from the start it’s horrifically violent, which wasn’t what I expected at all. So I’m shocked, and his mom leans over and asks what I’m thinking so far.</p><p><br /> </p><p>And, unsure of what to say here, I’m like, ‘It’s… fine I guess. Maybe it’ll get better?”</p><p><br /> </p><p>She immediately says, “I think it’s horrible and too violent. We should go.”</p><p><br /> </p><p>I say, “but we’ve already paid for the tickets…” And she’s like, “Who cares? Why would we sit through it if we don’t like it?”</p><p><br /> </p><p>BOOM.</p><p><br /> </p><p>I was blown away. Here I am, close to 30 years old, and I just learned that you can <i>pay</i> for something, realize you’ve changed your mind, and just… walk away.”</p><p><br /> </p><p>My parent didn’t give me the option to not like something they paid for. We were poor so if money was involved, I better like it, or even fake it. Walking out of the theater? I was shocked. </p><p><br /> </p><p>Better late than never, I guess.</p><p><br /> </p><p>So, what’s this about? Why do we make ourselves tolerate shit that makes us unhappy?</p><p><br /> </p><p>I remember I was leading a retreat once and a common theme was participants feeling pressure to make the right decisions - about career, relationships, you name it. One participant in particular said there was this voice that kept chiming in, telling them they were stupid and not able to pull off whatever they set their minds to.</p><p><br /> </p><p>As a result, they never stuck with anything, always doubting if the decision was the right one and wondering if they’d be able to follow through, changing their mind again and again.<