Finding My Fit

Finding My Fit<br /><br />"The primary goals of adolescence"<br /><br />“Fitting in, or gaining peer acceptance, is a primary objective of youth in the high school context and, for many adolescents, may be more important than academic goals.” (Crosnoe, 2011 Eccles & Roeser, 2011).<br /><br />Perceived belonging and the data students collect on it becomes the “source material” for important outcomes like dropout rates, academic performance, mental health issues, and how much control they have to make the changes they feel need to be made. We typically extrapolate data we took in in high school about how we fit in and where we belong and apply it to larger society, college, workforce, etc.<br /><br />It doesn’t matter if WE think they are connected or belong. Do THEY think that?<br /><br />Students that are low in social connectedness tended to think that “peers were in control of determining the criteria for which youth could fit in with certain social groups and that, in order to fit in, conformity is necessary.” Many of these kids are not interested in conformity but they are interested in belonging.<br /><br />Many kids get labeled or put into a group that they don’t feel is consistent with who they really are, or who they would choose to fit in with, if they could.<br /><br />Kids with higher amounts of social connectedness tend to feel more like others perceptions of them, and their ability to fit in, is in their control. They can draw people closer or push them away, with either little cost, or a confidence that they can find what they need elsewhere.<br /><br />If am considering making myself vulnerable by trying to make a connection, but I have a history of being rejected, then I may decide it’s not worth the risk. Am I isolating because I don’t want to fit in, or because I’m pretty sure I won’t, so why bother trying?<br /><br />If I am considering making myself vulnerable by trying to make a connection, and I have a history of being accepted, then maybe it’s not a risk at all. Maybe it doesn’t even