Episode 129 Amazing Spider-Man #661: The Substitute Part One

<p>Class...class....it is time for you all to pay attention. Now, I know you all were expecting Rick to be writing this post relating to this comic book...podcast...thing, but he could not be bothered to do that. So, I am here in his place.</p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>According to these notes, you were supposed to be discussing how to engage in battle. I would be shocked to discover that you were all this advanced. Doubt that you have the knowledge or experience to deal with this much sophistication, but I will try to impart some knowledge to you.</p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>Dress for the occasion. Do not be some down on their luck, nobody who thinks a paper bag on their head is an acceptable look. Be serious. Be bold. And do not break any trademark laws.</p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>The most important factor in engagement is to look your opening in the eyes. You must know what they are, where there intentions lie, if they are wearing glasses. That is more important than anything else. Hitting some one with glasses on is illegal in many counties, and the fines are very prohibitive.</p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>If you plan on getting physical with your opponent, be sure that you do so in a civilized and proper manner. Introductions may seem passe, but they are required. You need to follow the rules of form and etiquette or we will all end up like animals.</p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>Some educated "scholars" would have you believe that a fallen foe should be treated with respect. You should not do this. Once you have them subdued, take the opportunity to really put them in their place with a stern word and a heavy glance. A well placed jibe would be acceptable in these situations.</p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>We should cover names and how you address yourselves. According to your normal teacher's notes, you have been instructed to be subdued in your approach to identifying yourself. This is incorrect. Your name is your calling card, your shield. Make it a weapon to control your enemies.</p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>Speaking of enemies, kno