Ep. 73: “You ALWAYS do that!”

<p><a href="https://talkingtoteens.com/communicate-like-a-buddhist/">Click for full show notes, exercises, and parenting scripts from this episode</a></p><p><br></p><p>Proper communication is tough enough between adults, but teenagers are a whole different game! The heightened sensitivity and emotions in teenagers means parents are more likely to find themselves in unwanted situations when talking with their teens. </p><p>Communicating with teenagers in a healthy and helpful way is like walking a tightrope—it’s hard to find the right balance between getting your point across without devolving into an argument. One wrong word might trigger a fiery flare up! Or, worse, the silent treatment. Where do we even begin in turning things around?</p><p>This week I spoke with communication guru Cynthia Kane, author of <a href="https://amzn.to/2PknC2K"><em>How to Communicate Like a Buddhist</em></a> and <a href="https://amzn.to/32p6WfR"><em>Talk to Yourself Like a Buddhist</em></a>. (Her third book in the series is due out this spring.) Cynthia's search for a Bodhisattva—a person dedicated to helping others ease their suffering—for her own life, led her on a journey to become one herself. Her medium? Communication.</p><p>By using the Buddhist principle of <em>Right Speech</em>, Kane enlightens others on how to speak to themselves and others in positive, reforming ways. It’s all about being honest, taking time to recognize and address one’s own feelings, and finding ways to voice one’s needs and opinions in helpful ways. Kane suggests that before parents can effectively build a solid foundation of communication with their teenagers, they must first learn to listen to themselves. </p><p>Parents who are unsure about their own decisions, stressed about their reputations, and caught up in past events have a much harder time listening and responding to their teen’s wants and needs. </p><p><br></p><p>In practice, Kane’s insights help people more truthfully focus on their individual needs and build avenues of communication.