EP 313: Stop Letting Your Issues Block You From Intimacy with Mike

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This episode is about learning the tools to deal with triggers and the avoidant attachment style. This week’s caller, Mike, would like guidance on how to be more open-hearted and vulnerable in his intimate relationships. This session will be of service to those who have an avoidant style and for those who attract Avoidants. We discuss how to understand them and how not to take their actions personally.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">[For show notes, go here:</span> <a href="http://christinehassler.com/episode313"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Christinehassler.com/episode313</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">]</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Anything is healable. It doesn’t matter what is in your background, childhood, or past. I’ve seen it over and over again. Does it happen overnight? No. Is it always easy? No. Is it going to change overnight? Healable doesn’t mean we go from having an avoidant attachment style to being totally open-hearted, totally secure, and never having triggers.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Healing is not being perfect, not being free of any triggers but really learning how to work with those triggers, manage those triggers, so that they don’t become roadblocks in our life. Triggers can be alarm systems for growth and not a dead end. Awareness is not enough to heal.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">People with an avoidant attachment style are not trying to avoid being close or being in love. They are trying to avoid rejection, hurt, and pain. When we are with an Avoidant, and they pull away or put walls up, it can make us feel as if we have done something wrong. But, we cannot take it personally. If you are with an Avoidant, the best thing you can do when they are triggered is don’t attack them, don’t tell them they are doing anything wrong, then reassure them that you are there and you love them.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 40