EP 304: Cutting Ties with a Family Member with Alison

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This episode is about cutting ties with a toxic family member. Today’s caller, Alison, continues to relive the cycle of abuse she received from her mother. There is a part of her that believes her mother will one day change and give her the love she desires. If you have someone you are considering ending a relationship with, you will get great value from this session. If this particular circumstance doesn’t apply to you, you can probably relate to a situation where you want to do something but guilt and obligation are keeping you from making a self-honoring decision.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">[For show notes, go here:</span> <a href="http://christinehassler.com/episode304"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Christinehassler.com/episode304</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">]</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Just because someone is related to you, even a parent, doesn’t give them the right to be in your life.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When we are the parentified child it is confusing in the psyche and that is why there is a lot of guilt and obligation. Because as a parent, you can’t imagine abandoning your child. You would still love your child no matter what happened. That is the appropriate order of things. We are not supposed to be a parent to our parents.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, when it comes to cutting ties with a family member it is tricky. It is difficult because we are in role reversal. Much of the guilt comes from being the parental figure to our parents which makes it hard to cut them off. This is not a healthy dynamic.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">What I have learned about boundaries, family, and having a healthy life is that continuing to be in a relationship with someone, even our mother, who is abusive, volatile, or who cannot respect boundaries, just because they are a family member out of guilt and obligation is not love