EP 298: Get Out of Your Relationship Rut with Shaun

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This episode is about how to get your needs met in an intimate relationship. Today’s caller, Shaun, is looking for guidance on how to re-open his heart and rekindle the warmth for his partner whom he loves. We discuss strategies for getting beyond the hurts and moving toward understanding and compassion. We often love the way we need to be loved instead of loving a person the way they need to be loved.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">[For show notes, go here:</span> <a href="http://christinehassler.com/episode298"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Christinehassler.com/episode298</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">]</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As much as we want love and connection in a relationship, the thing we want even more is not to get hurt or lose our power. Often, we put more energy into avoiding what we don’t want than creating the relationship we do want because that’s what we need to do to survive.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Our intimate relationships are often the very fertile ground where we work out any issues from childhood we haven’t quite resolved. If we were criticized a lot in childhood, it can come up in a relationship. If we were anxious or didn’t feel safe, that is going to come up. If there was cheating within our parent’s relationship, that is going to come up. Jealousy, abandonment, all the things we felt as children tend to come up in romantic relationships because romantic relationships are our adult family.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Remember, our relationship with our primary family is the intimate relationship that forms the foundation for all future intimate relationships.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Whenever we are in an argument, or rut, or tension with our partner, the most important thing that we can do is get to a level of understanding and compassion with ourselves and our partner to understand what the nee