EP 284: Finding Yourself After Losing Yourself in a Relationship with Elena

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This call is about making self-honoring choices. Today’s caller, Elena, has separated from her husband after being co-dependent for many years. She is uncertain how to move forward because she isn’t clear about who she is. She asks for guidance about what to do next. This is an important call for those who feel they have lost themselves in a relationship or job.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">[For show notes, go here:</span> <a href="http://christinehassler.com/episode-284"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Christinehassler.com/episode284</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">]</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When you are trying to make an important decision, from getting a divorce to having a child, to moving to a new city or quitting your job, you need to start on the inside first. Look at where you are in the situation. Ask yourself if you want the job? Do you want the marriage to work? Are you scared to speak your feelings? What is underneath the surface feelings?</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For most people, limbo feels safe because you don’t have to make a choice. But, what is safe for most of us is what is familiar. Usually what is familiar doesn’t leave any opportunity for change or breakthrough. When you are in limbo, not moving in any direction, there are no possibilities. There is only more of the same.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When we know who we are and we practice honoring choices, not selfish choices, clarity becomes a lot easier. Because we can say, “This is a yes. This is in alignment with my most authentic self. I’m not coming from a place of hurt or from my childhood wounding. I’m not looking for love or validation outside of me.” It becomes much easier to make decisions.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Everyone has the tools to love themselves and figure out who they are. If you are in a human body with a mind, a soul, and a heart y