EP 268: Stop Fearing Upsetting Other People, Especially A Parent, with Kylie

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This call is about developing authentic relationships by being authentic. Today’s caller, Kylie, is individuating and is trying to figure out how to have a grown-up relationship with her mother. This call is useful for those of you who are wondering how to have an adult relationship with your parents and break free of the patterns that were set up in childhood.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">[For show notes, go here:</span> <a href="http://christinehassler.com/episode-268"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Christinehassler.com/episode268</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">]</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When we become an adult, we start to step into sovereignty. Our parents, or caregivers, raised us and they were our authority figure. We were dependent on them. As children, we couldn’t care for ourselves and were not supposed to. We were subjected to whatever patterns our parents imprinted upon us. Since as children we are sponges, we absorbed many of the way they did things, the way they feel their emotions, and the way they relate.  We learned as children to adapt to those behaviors and be whoever we think we need to be, to be safe, to be loved, and protected.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Then, as adults, as we step into sovereignty and we are not dependent on our parents, and we are dependent on ourselves, we have to consider the relational dynamic that was set up when we were dependent and had no sovereignty, no power.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The patterns that were set up your parental dynamic, either with one or both of your parents when they were set up, you had no choice in the matter. Today, you do. Do you still want to keep playing out the patterns that were imposed and imprinted on you as a child, now that you are an adult? Or, do you want to individuate and have a healthy adult relationship with your parents?</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: