Ep 232: Solving Conflict and Building Connection

<p>Please give Talking to Teens 5 stars on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Reviews help other parents find us and helps us keep the lights on! Thanks for listening!</p><br><p>It doesn’t take long for a disagreement with teens to turn into a full-fledged battlefield. One minute, you’re just trying to ask about their day, the next they’re saying they hate you and slamming the door in your face. And no matter how much we resolve to make our interactions calmer and more productive, we seem to get stuck repeating the same drama over and over again.</p><p><br></p><p>If we want to break free from this cycle, we have to find new ways to communicate with our kids. This requires us to go past the surface level and dive into how kids are really feeling-and what they really mean when they say “I hate you.”</p><p><br></p><p>To help us escape from the cycle of miscommunication, we’re talking to Rick Hanson, author of multiple bestselling books, including the most recent,<a href="https://amzn.to/40PuCIc"> <em>Making Great Relationships: Simple Practices for Solving Conflicts, Building Connection, and Fostering Love</em></a>. Rick is a psychologist, Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, and the founder of the Global Compassion Coalition and the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom.</p><p><br></p><p>In our interview, we’re talking about why teens are so harsh in their communication with parents–and what they're really trying to do when they're hurling insults at us. Plus, how parents can be less reactive when kids are pushing our buttons.</p><p><br><strong>The Truth About Teen Angst<br></strong><br></p><p>Teenagers in TV, movies, and popular culture are often depicted as rude and rebellious–could our media be normalizing teen angst? This cultural conditioning definitely contributes to teens’ attitudes, says Rick. Teens are also generally hardwired to be selfish, he explains, and since their biological development isn’t quite complete, and they’ve still got some empathy left to