Ep 13 - What Will Make Them Stay, Leave, or Want Me Again? Stuck In Ambiguity, Feeling Confused?

<p>Brad: Almost every couple, there is a period of ambiguity, that uncertainty that they go through. Are we going to stay together or are we going to be done? I want to spend a few moments just talking about this, the most important things that effect ambiguity. And I would say on this, it is really the factors that influence uncertainty for a spouse to choose to stay and factors that affect the spouse who is going to leave. I want to just go over these because they can help save your marriage; help you guys work through this a little bit more on what the spouse who had the affair is thinking and the spouse who was betrayed, what they are considering. And these are things that I hear, by no means is this list exhaustive. I have got 20 different things here, there could easily be 40 things but I just want to go through this. One of the things that is really important for injured spouses that affects if they want to stay or go, is the amount of deception involved by the one who had the affair; the amount of deception that they used to cover their tracks. Were you lying to me face to face? I've kind of felt like something was a little off. Did you lie to your spouse when this was happening? That is going to affect your ability to trust in their ambiguity. Morgan: Kind of your blatant lies. Brad: Yeah did they approach you? I feel like you may be cheating, is everything okay between us? Morgan: Oh no, no, not at all. Brad: No I am happily married, we are okay. You know a couple months later you find out that they have been cheating. That is going to affect your 'should we stay or go'. Morgan: Right they are going to go back to that moment. Another one would be, if it was witnessed by the injured spouse as it actually happened, as it physically happened, if they saw you with them--if they saw it, that could really influence their ambiguous feelings as to whether they should stay or go or if it should even remain intact. So witnessing the event is a big one. Brad: Yeah and Morgan that's very important. If you actually