
Dragonheart - Death by cheese cart!
henvi_darji
Description
<p>Wherein a dragon saves a terrible person's life and everyone blames the dragon for said terrible person's terribleness. Its a funny old world we lived in back in 984 AD.</p> <p>So yeah, the plot here is that a oppressive king dies in a moronic manner and his awful Joffreyesque turd of a child becomes king. Before he can reimplement prima nocta, a girl falls onto him; knocking him into a lethal cheese cart. Yes that's right. Before the movie even starts up, the villain has been killed by a cheese cart. So his mentor, Bowen (played by Dennis Quaid) takes him up to a dragon's cave where Draco (Sean Connery) takes a chunk of his heart and stuffs into said brat and revives him, all while making him swear an oath to be a just and kind king. Before the little wanker can make it back to his castle, he's already issued a decree to enslave the people to build a vanity project for him. Bowen, being the perfect judge of character that he is, blames Draco for King Twat's cruelty and vows to hunt him to the ends of the earth.</p> <p>12 years later, and both Bowen and Draco forget that they ever met, despite Bowen still being on a genocidal hunt to murder ALL dragons and Draco feeling the literal pain of sharing his dragonheart and the mistake of his one good deed to allow him into dragon heaven being the continuation of a monarchy that enslaves and murders its own subjects. Well the pair team up to run the mob's protection racket and hijinx ensue. Eventually (about 85% of the film length) they decide to take on King Butthole and end his reign.</p> <p>Despite how incredibly stupid the plot is, it still doesn't qualify for the idiot plot. King Longsuck still would have been a terrible ruler and eventually someone was going to rise up against him. A dragon sure would be helpful in a rebellion, one would think, but Draco doesn't even do anything to support the rebellion. Burn some castles! Go full Targaryen! Nope he just flies around. So its clear you do NOT need a dragon to have a successful rebellion. One could argue th
Episodes
Dragonheart - Death by cheese cart!
henvi_darji