Don’t Question the Voice in Your Head

<p>Opening weekend brought us <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/mlb/2022/04/08/mlb-pitchcom-device-sign-stealing-baseball/9504304002/">PitchCom</a>, a couple of bench-clearing conversations, and a labor rant about MLB mobile ordering not allowing us to tip our stadium workers. <a href="https://arizonasports.com/story/3100650/d-backs-seth-beer-on-cloud-9-after-walk-off-earns-free-beer-for-fans/">Seth Beer</a> proves our bf designation absolutely on point, plus boyfriend heroics from <a href="https://torontosun.com/sports/baseball/toronto-blue-jays/teoscar-hernandez-the-hero-in-riveting-blue-jays-opening-night-comeback">Teoscar Hernandez</a>, <a href="https://theathletic.com/3237795/2022/04/07/royals-top-prospect-bobby-witt-jr-hits-go-ahead-double-in-debut-it-was-a-dream-come-true/">Bobby Witt, Jr</a>., and Juan Soto. There’s former bf joy with Nelson Cruz (if you *have* to have a DH…) and picked too soon <a href="https://www.mercurynews.com/2022/04/08/watch-sf-giants-rookie-catcher-joey-bart-blasts-first-career-homer-on-opening-day/">Joey Bart</a>, plus dominos falling with <a href="https://twitter.com/MLBPA_News/status/1511368987858374656?s=20&amp;t=p3s4WujG7tEGeDyucty_GQ">Pedro Severino</a>.  <a href="https://www.knbr.com/2022/04/09/marlins-jazz-chisholm-expresses-displeasure-with-not-being-in-lineup-one-day-after-clutch-hr/">Jazz</a> and <a href="https://www.mlb.com/news/rachel-balkovec-debuts-as-yankees-minor-league-manager">Rachel</a> go full Pottymouth. Patti searches desperately for a rhyme with Buck to describe her feelings for the Bucks Showalter and <a href="https://sports.yahoo.com/fox-joe-buck-world-series-booth-dodgers-broadcaster-joe-davis-205239438.html">Joe</a>. We add Staten Island to our ballpark tour plans to see <a href="https://www.si.com/mlb/2022/04/08/kelsie-whitmore-atlantic-league">Kelsie Whitmore</a> in action. 20 year old <a href="https://twitter.com/baseballcosmo/status/1513141771630305285?s=20&amp;t=79-2smi9EV_XgYOE90GMpg">Rōki Sasaki’s</a> perfect game leads our