Depression, Compulsion, Culture Shock and Getting Woke with Erin Keam

I was a hyperaware child - intelligent and creative I first remember extreme depression at 13  - probably not a coincidence, hello hormones - dysfunctional childhood, but out of respect to mum, will frame as I took in data that didn't serve me   The shrink says that's probably when bi-polar triggered. I remember thinking there had to be better options out there - highly imaginative, evidence of slight mania in hindsight.   Chaotic work experience - never lasted more than two years, always motivated by avoiding depression, and growth, as well as whatever I was passionate about -  I never made it through university - just didn't have the ability to persevere back then.    Some jobs - customs officer, actor, copywriter,  alternative radio station, voice-overs, animal welfare officer,  swim school admin, realtor, wanted to be a funeral director at one point, tv & film production course, music magazine, sales, museum event coordinator, Tokyo newspaper, English to Japanese children using drama,  HMV DJ,     compulsive - went to London to follow a relationship and avoid depression caused by self-sabotaging choices and a ton of shame - fell in love with a woman, still in love with a couple of others, depression really bad, only stopped from doing self-harm by my sister, was hospitalized    I took off to Tokyo on a whim with a drag queen, ended up working for the Japanese mafia then Iranians selling jewelry on the street, hostess clubs, etc.   - depression always threatening, shame, shame, shame, self-medicated with alcohol - got sober in Tokyo   back in NZ, culture shock, BUT was finally diagnosed as super high IQ (yay) and BIPOLAR!!  always fascinated by psychology, what makes people succeed and how to help, plus creative, natural coach & marketer  Over two decades in peer-supported recovery, mentor-ship, and facilitator for change.  I always loved clothes and seen their connection to the life you w