Be Grateful for Everything—Even the Tough Stuff

<p>On this day of American Thanksgiving, we’re supposed to make time for thanks, to actively think about that word that has become almost cliché in wellness circles: gratitude. But what is gratitude? Some people think of it as being thankful for all the good things you have in your life. Others see it as the act of acknowledging what people have done for you or what you appreciate about others. </p><p>While the Stoics would have agreed that was all important, they practiced a slightly different form of gratitude. It was more inclusive and counterintuitive. It wasn’t just about being grateful for the good, but for <em>all</em> of life. “Convince yourself that everything is the gift of the gods,” was how <a href='https://el2.convertkit-mail.com/c/preview/dpheh0hz/aHR0cDovL2RhaWx5c3RvaWMuY29tL01hcmN1cy1BdXJlbGl1cz91dG1fc291cmNlPWNvbnZlcnRraXQmdXRtX21lZGl1bT1jb252ZXJ0a2l0JnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1ldmVyeS1kYXktaXMtdGhhbmtzZ2l2aW5n'>Marcus Aurelius</a> put it, “that things are good and always will be.” The first key word there is <em>everything</em>. The other key word is <em>convince.</em> Meaning: you have to tell yourself that it’s <em>all good,</em> even the so-called “bad stuff.” </p><p>Is it possible to be grateful for that nine-hour travel delay that has you sleeping on a bench in the airport? Is it possible to be grateful for your father’s affair that tore your family apart, and which now means you’re celebrating two Thanksgivings in two houses because your parents can’t be in the same room together? Or that dark period you went through in college, when your grades fell to pieces and you thought about killing yourself? It’s not easy to be grateful for any of this, but it is <em>possible.</em> </p><p>In the <em>Discourses</em>, Epictetus says, “It is easy to praise providence for anything that may happen if you have two qualities: a complete view of what has actually happened in each instance, and a sense of gratitude.” On the surface, much of what we’re upset about or wish hadn’t occurred is so objectionable that grat