Are You Doing The Spaghetti Approach To Healing?

<p>Are You Doing The Spaghetti Approach To Healing?<br/><br/>I call it: the spaghetti-healing approach<br/><br/>This is where you try out a series of random tools in hopes something sticks (or works).  <br/><br/>I did this for nearly 8 years of my healing journey, causing myself deep pain, anguish, fear, and frustration.  <br/><br/>I often wondered if something was wrong with me because these tools weren&apos;t doing anything for the pain, anxiety, shame, guilt, or trauma I was living with.<br/><br/>But a part of me was sensing that it wasn&apos;t me, and it wasn&apos;t the tools.  <br/><br/>This is when I learned about having the right tools in the right order at the right time. <br/><br/>You see, emotional healing requires certain conditions to exist within the person&apos;s mental and somatic/body realms to work.<br/><br/>First priority is always safety, specifically, feeling safe enough to actually access, process, and integrate the energy and sensations of what one has lived through. <br/><br/>When I introduced this into my own healing work, I experienced a sudden reduction in resistance to healing and changing, and started noticing my pain was reducing and staying in that reduced state as I used other tools in combination with nurturing that sense of safety.<br/><br/>The second priority is curiosity, namely, curiosity about what you&apos;re discovering during and after processing.  This step helped me eliminate the habit of outcome seeking and, instead, connect with what was really happening for me as I processed. <br/><br/>The third priority is inquiry. Generally, we are made up of an internal family of selves, often called &quot;parts&quot;.  I refer to them as Aspects Of Self, as they comprise our sense of self.  Actual healing depends on knowing what the aspects of self-involved need and want.  Learning how to ask them, hear them, and communicate with them is key to long-lasting reduction and resolution of any persistent emotional pain.<br/><br/>Fourth is care (sounds strange, right?)  Care comes in pla