Anatomy of Codependency Series: Fawning - What It Is And How It Causes Codependency Revisited

<p>Therapists and self-help will often tell you that codependency is the problem and is what requires healing, but here&apos;s why that is wrong:  Codependency is actually a result of a deep biological threat response in the body called &quot;the Fawn Response&quot;.  This response is triggered by chornically unsafe, unstable relationships that a person cannot separate themselves from without fearing for their survival in some way.<br/><br/>Specifically, their body feels their sense of safety, connection, or worth is at risk if they try to advocate for themselves, such as saying no, confronting problems, speaking up for themselves, having boundaries, or even simply being their own selves.<br/><br/>This is why codependency is a SYMPTOM - not the problem.  <br/><br/>Fawning manifests itself in classic codependent behaviors, including:<br/><br/>1) Creating discomfort in your world to hopefully please the feelings of an abusive or neglectful spouse, partner, friend, or parent (or avoid upsetting them)<br/><br/>2) Assuming responsibility for their emotional reactions and responses to anything<br/><br/>3) Focusing on their emotional regulation at the expense of yours<br/><br/>4) People-pleasing<br/><br/>5) Fixing or rescuing people from their problems<br/><br/>6) Attempting to control their choices so you feel comfortable<br/><br/>7) Denying your discomfort, complaints, pain, needs, and wants<br/><br/>8) Changing your preferences to align with theirs<br/><br/><br/>These behaviors come from somatic impulses, including:<br/><br/>- feelings of affection towards an aggressor<br/><br/>- smiling at a perpetrator<br/><br/>- feeling small, demour, or submissive to a person<br/><br/>- feeling sensations of anxiety, fear, and attraction towards a person<br/><br/>- sense of guilt and sorrow in response things that are not harmful or hurtful <br/><br/>In our next episode, learn the 3 Necessities must be restored to your daily life for your body to stop fawning and start advocating instead.<br/><br/>***<br/><br/>Join my email commu